What’s Common is Uncommon

I mentioned in a previous post that the two words we like to hear most are the words common and normal. This statement stands true. We do think our son is pretty great, and we always will, but I can tell you for sure that it’s also a relief to be reminded that David is nothing exceptional. He’s nothing special; he’s quite normal and ordinary, in fact. And as I walked the halls of the hospital on Monday night, forcing the ever so impervious and silencing lump out of my throat and the unwanted “this-was-not-how-it-was-supposed-to-be” feeling that I have guarded myself against for the past three weeks, I reminded myself of this, that this is all very normal.

That David suddenly fell ill late on Monday afternoon with an infection in his lungs and possibly another in his blood, is something we should have better prepared ourselves for, something we should have remembered would most likely happen. Because this happens often. In the ICN, babies get sick and babies get better. But that it seemed to hit both of us so hard I think is also a reminder that, yes, although this is common, it is also the most uncommon thing in the world. What I mean to say is that we were both reminded of the singularity of our experience in the ICN, that although we can expect the sudden downturn of events (lots of people have experienced what we’re experiencing), it doesn’t make the experience any less sudden and saddening and singular.

Although they haven’t identified his infections yet, David will be fine in no time. He’s on a general antibiotic and a new breathing machine called an oscillator, which jiggles him like jello pudding. It’s weird, sort of like a vibrating chair. The oscillator does two things: it forces continuous air into his lungs to keep them constantly inflated while also providing him with breaths. This will give him a rest and help him to spend more time recovering. He’s turned from pink to pale back to pink in no time.

His "thumb" is up for recovery.

I spoke too soon in my last post. The clothes are back off and the IV is back in, so no modeling pictures just yet. Maybe after Thanksgiving, when he’s recovered and putting on weight again, because by then he’ll hopefully be back to eating his 147.2 calories of milk per day. What’s that, like a bite of pie?

This will be holiday #2 of 4 in the ICN. We don’t mind, though; David wasn’t supposed to be “out” for the holidays anyway 😉

Enjoy your feasts and families.

J & G & D


11 thoughts on “What’s Common is Uncommon

  1. Memories of holidays in the ICN. Common and ‘routine’ – words to live by in the ICN. Here’s hoping for an upswing and a bit of a coast for a while. Hang in there you guys, you’re doing great!

    • Barclay,

      I am Jane’s mom. Thank you so much for all your support to Jane and Graham! I doubt you will ever know how much it means to all of us!

      David’s GG! Ginger

  2. Happy Thanksgiving! Jane and Graham my prayers are with you and David. Your sharing reminds me so much the preciousness of life. Thank you.

  3. Jane, I have had you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. David is beautiful! Your mom and I are now connected on FB and I just read your blog. With tears streaming, I read it in it’s entirety. I am so proud of you and look forward to meeting both Graham and David and seeing you again. Babies have a special way of making us appreciate life. Have a blessed Thanksgiving and know many prayers are coming your way for the three of you. Judy Sorrell

  4. Dear Websters…..Hope David’s first Thanksgiving included giving thanks that he is recovering well from his first infection…..Scary stuff, this….
    But he is in great and compassionate hands in that NICU…..David was celebrated at our table and we wished him good fortune in continuing his task of catching up, growing stronger and battling bugs…..Love to your sweet family…………..Karen & Murray

  5. Dear Jane and Graham and David,
    I’ve been reading your posts with mixtures of tears and joy; you are a beautiful writer Jane and I thank you for letting us know about David in such poignant detail. He is such a little trooper! I am inspired by the courage you and Graham have shown; I believe that you will be able to handle anything parenting throws your way after this. Such love, such grace, such tenacity.
    Our thoughts are with the three of you every day; love, Kathy and Finn, Lars and Nick

  6. We four–Katherine, Mike, and Lucy and I–kept you three in our Thanksgiving thoughts, and send heaps of tender wishes to David as he grows and takes the ICN in stride. Truly you all are living in the land of ups and downs, and the miracle is your steadiness through it all. David has chosen his parents welll!
    Love to all,

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